Kidnapper: (Noun) Someone who unlawfully seizes and detains a child.

Madonna has hit a snag in her latest attempt to steal a Malawian baby. A court ruling this morning delayed a ruling on her adoption application until Friday. Please! Like Madonna doesn't have better things to do with her time than hang out in some stinky third world country for a week. Also? The family of the little girl, Mercy James, isn't exactly thrilled about it.

Mercy James' grandmother, 61-year-old Lucy Chekechiwa, is reportedly against Madonna's decision to adopt. (Mercy James' single teen mother died at age 18; the girl's father is believed to be alive.)

"Why doesn't this singer pick other children?" she told Britain's The Sun. "It is stealing. I want to go to to court. I won't let her go." (Source)

What the fuck? Is Madonna seriously that incapable of finding an orphan to adopt who is actually, you know, an orphan? Or better yet, why doesn't Madonna have her own goddamn kids? Yeah I know, her uterus probably resembles a piece of stale beef jerky, but if science could put a baby in Arnold Schwarzenegger that time, who knows what is possible.