Retch
Retch: (Verb) To make the sound and movement of vomiting.Remember when Sir Ben Kingsley and Mary Kate Olsen made out in that movie about weed? Yeah, well that's nothing compared to how gross what I'm about to tell you is. Let me just say: Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke. BOOM.
The star of "The Wrestler" was at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood the other night with Sean Penn and his long-suffering wife, Robin Wright Penn, when, our witnesses said, Rourke was accosted by fame-craving Bai Ling. Rourke was only too happy to oblige the Chinese-born actress and the two "made out and partied pretty hard." (Source)
I actually kind of tried to picture this in my head, but the only mental image my brain will conjure up is a hyena wrestling with a warthog, and it's all just teeth and claws and blood and saliva and you can't tell if they're fighting or fucking each other to death. And yet, that's probably infinitely more pleasant than the actual image of Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke making out.
More from that horrible, horrible night:
You don't think this makes complete sense, Stacey? Mickey Rourke is balls-out crazy, and Bai Ling is tits-out crazy. It's like second-base crazy before they even actually start holding hands. Their first public fight will probably require a hazmat team and a fight hose to break up.
I want to see them at least attend the Academy Awards together -- and sit with the Pitt-Jolies so that the whole universe can see how categorically extraordinary nutsack Hollywood really is.