Dickhead: (Noun) A stupid, irritating, or competemptible person, particularly a man.

Now that everyone pretty much safely hates Jeremy Piven's arrogant guts, Page Six Magazine is running a story in Sunday's edition called "Is Jeremy Piven the Biggest Jerk in Showbiz?" According to the article, Piven attended a photo shoot for the magazine back in September and more or less acted like a huge diva.

At a September Page Six Magazine photo shoot to promote his starring role in the Broadway revival of Speed-the-Plow, the actor was in a foul mood. “This isn’t my first time on the merry-go-round,” he shot at a staffer who asked that he pose for a traditional headshot and make eye contact with the camera. “You want mediocre? I can give you mediocre.” He mocked the crew by grinning like he was posing for a DMV shot.

An hour later, Jeremy didn’t want to give mediocre anymore. He popped his collar. He ducked under the photographer so that the camera would catch him at a height-enhancing angle. Letting out a guttural moan, he ripped the sleeves off a $350 Giorgio Armani shirt.”

If this were an episode of "Tales From the Crypt" something spectacularly terrible and ironic would have then happened to Jeremy Piven, like from then on cameras would only show his inner beauty which of course would make him horrible looking and would drive him insane until he threw himself off of a building. But since this is real life, we'll just have to settle for public shaming and loss of his Hollywood clout. Still, it's a shame things can't be like they were in "Tales From the Crypt."

More of Hair Club For Men at the Golden Globes: (Editor's note: True story, his hair is totally fake. Go back and watch PCU if you don't believe me.)