You want your MTV? Well you don't get to fucking have it anymore. Howdya like that? Everybody thank Time Warner. (Pajiba)

Matt Dillon got arrested for doing 106 in a Someplace That Wasn't The Autobahn Zone. (Yeeeah!)

Lily Allen is topless again. Seriously, is that a British thing? Because I should like, move there. How freeing it must be! (The Blemish)

Did somebody say "Johnny Depp's bare ass in 1985?!" Oh, goody!!! (Seriously? OMG!)

What's this? A modicum of respect for that Twilight asshat? NOOO! Fight it, Stacey, Fight it! (Celebitchy)

I remember when I first saw these photos of Ashlee Simpson in a bikini last year I was all, "She's totally not pregnant." Oh, the egg on my face!* (Celebslam)

Scarlett Johansson is the latest starlet to complain about being a sex symbol. (Agent Bedhead)

*Editor's note: What am I doing with my life?