Paris Hilton is the best thing about Paris Hilton's new movie. So in other words, yes, it totally blows. (Pajiba)

Hillary Duff channels good, old-timey, pre-steroids Madonna. (usemycomputer)

Is Rihanna Riknocked up? (Yeeeah!)

If a million geeks ejaculate simultaneously, do you think it will throw off the space-time continuum? (The Blemish)

Everybody Loves Raymond's brother assaulted some photographers. (Seriously? OMG!)

The National Enquirer is claming that Cindy McCain is having an affair. Boy, it is really not that guy's week, huh? (Celebitchy)

A-Rod is buying his little lady presents. (Celebslam)

Ha ha ha! Kate Moss calls Marky Mark a "dickhead." Sweet! (Agent Bedhead)

Christina Aguilera says that she "lives under a rock." (CelebSmack)

Jennifer Aniston may be pathetic but her body is still sick. In a good way. (Lainey Goss)

OMG PUPPY WHISTLE! (omg blog)