The new Star Trek trailer isn't gay as in homosexual, but gay as in retarded. And actually, a little homosexual, too. (Pajiba)

I went down to the Victoria's Secret at the mall on my lunch today to try to buy one of these ensembles but they must not have hit stores yet. (Yeeeah!)

Amy Winehouse treats a paparazzi to a 6-minute long ramble-session. (The Blemish)

OH MY GOD. Karolina Kurkova isn't a real person! She's a clone!!!! (Seriously? OMG!)

Scarlett Johansson doesn't know why Lindsay Lohan called her a cunt. I'd say it was probably because of either the coke or the booze. (Celebitchy)

Gwenyth Paltrow in the human being equivalent of a cold, wet, limp piece of angel hair pasta. (Celebslam)

Madonna employs her friends to babysit her new boyfriend. Gah. (Agent Bedhead)

What? When did Wanda Sykes turn gay? Oh, since always? That makes sense. (CelebSmack)

I think Katharine McPhee is my favorite ex-"American Idol" person. (usemycomputer)

I'm so glad I'm not alone in thinking that Mario Lopez is a fat-headed gay turd. (Lainey Goss)

Stephanie Tanner looks like a (brightly) painted whore. (IBBB)