Ha! This is totally true. Have you ever known anyone with a soul patch? Well, they were a douchebag, right? Just admit it. (Lainey Goss)

Twilight reaffirms my faith in mankind's stupidity. (Pajiba)

Imagine the most boring calendar ever. (Yeeeah!)

Today in "Amy Winehouse's Fucking Disaster of a Life." (The Blemish)

Suri Cruise is wearing sunglasses? That is just effings ridiculous. (Seriously? OMG!)

Awww. Poor Madonna is sad. (Hee!) (Celebitchy)

Bullshit. Heidi and Spencer didn't get married. Otherwise there's be footage of the godforsaken event plastered all over the fugging place. (Celebslam)

A guy with a sword and a gun with a gun had it out at the Scientology center this weekend. Guess who won? (Agent Bedhead)

Awesome. That is all. (CelebSmack)

Miley Cyrus's statuatory rapist boyfriend goes for the "Laugh In" look. (popbytes)