Lying A-Holes: (Noun) Deceptive, lying despicable people who are full of lies.
Remember Heidi and Spencer's super secret, spontaneous wedding
which was so super secret and spontaneous that it shocked friends and family
? Well, it may not have actually been so super secret and spontaneous after all, because an informed source
of mine (whose mom is a travel agent) said that getting married in Cabo requires a good deal of red tape which can take up to four days to complete. Here is part of the list of requirements
• Current passport as proof of ID and marital status.
• Certified copy of both party's birth certificates.
• Tourist card (received upon arrival in Mexico) or visa.
• Names, addresses, nationalities, occupations and ages of both parents.
• Health certificate and blood test (hotels will help set up the tests, which must be done in Mexico).
• Four witnesses (these can be provided by a wedding planner or the
hotel locally for an extra fee). Will also need to provide their names,
addresses, occupations, ages and photo ID.
So what does this prove? Nothing, really. But since I am fairly sure, at the very least, Heidi couldn't provide the ages of her parents since she can't count past ten -- it does strongly allude to the fact that this alleged super secret, spontaneous wedding was either meticulously planned out for publicity like everything else in their stupid, worthless, godforsaken lives; or that they totally scammed Us Weekly
so Spencer cold buy a toilet made of solid gold or something. And I'm really, really
hoping it's the second one, and that solid gold toilets aren't refundable after you already poop in them.
Older photos of ol' Dead Behind the Eyes and Gorton's Fisherman Beard eating tacos like they mean it: