Figures
Figures: (Verb) To do what's completely expected.The wait to see what retarded thing Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson would name their baby is over! Of course, Gwen Stefani has kind of set the bar pretty high for retarded celebrity baby names with Zuma Nesta Buy Me A Coke Rossdale, but weighing in at 7 pounds and 11 ounces, the asininely named Bronx Mowgli Wentz is still not too shabby.
I guess they picked Bronx after the borough of New York City which neither of them have or would ever step foot in; and Mowgli after the titular character in The Jungle Book. Which is kind of fitting actually, because this kid would literally be better of being raised by a bear from the jungle than old Emo Closet Gay and Spoiled Immature Princess Asshole, here.
bronx? MOWGLI?! what the fuck.
can you imagine the poor teachers at the private schools that these demon spawn attend?
"is...er...bluebell twinkles madonna present? ok, um...pixie tiger lily hulahoop? great. um...buddha nirvana hookahface? ok...kal-el millenium falcon?"
the horror. the HORROR.
But they are so trndy and edgy. What assholes. I hope this kid grows up to hate them.
God damn I hate typos. Its like a big shining beacon showing the world my idiocy and inability to spell or type correctly.
Are you referring to my typo? Yep, I'm two for two today... You guys are not going easy on me, either, dammit.
No way I wouldnt call you out on typos. Hell I can't type for beans. I spelt trendy with no e. Its actually nice to know im not alone.
I actually did have a typo, though! I spelled "asininely" wrong. And I figured spellcheck just picked it up because "asininely" is technically, you know, not a word.
At any rate, I didn't even notice your type either, because it's the end of the week and gossip has almost killed my brain. Time to finish killing it with booze this weekend until it flips over like a car speedometer, fresh for Monday!
Have a drink for me! I have another 4 months or so before I can tie one on. As Homer Simpson once said "To alcohol the cause and solution to all life's problems!"
i don't know, does this one beat "moxie crimefighter" ?
After much consideration we have decided to name our next child: Ebenezer Cobbledick Lewis. But this is only if its a girl.