Here's a foolproof guide to writing a feature story for Entertainment Weekly. (Pajiba)

"Halle Berry was photographed in Vancouver on Sunday with a hairdo that finally answers the age-old question, “What would you get if you crossed Rick James with Justin Guarini and then put tits on it?" (Yeeeah!)

Ali and Dina Lohan are ostensibly dressed as skanks for Halloween. (The Blemish)

Julia Roberts is afraid people will think she's an old hooker. (Seriously? OMG!)

A sitcom with Britney, Lindsay and Paris? That definitely sounds too good to be true. (Celebitchy)

Is this true? Are men really attracted to women who wear red? Guys? (Best Week Ever)

Mena Goddamn Suvari. What in the fudge are you wearing? (Ayyyy!)

The Olsen Twins are such ungrateful bitches. (cityrag)

Michael Lohan is finally sorry, no doubt thanks to a restraining order and a team of lawyers. (CelebWarship)

Nicole Richie takes her Baby Fathead to a pumpkin patch. (BricksAndStones)

Britney Spears is hosting SNL for the third time. (POTP)

I am SO Team Selena Gomez. She is a total cutie pie. (usemycomputer)

Jessica Biel is looking flawless again. (Popoholic)

There is no way Zac Efron isn't all about the dick. None whatsoever. (IDWYL)

You know what the problem is with movies today? Not enough armpit licking. (FilmExperience)