W. is like cinematic premature ejaculation. (Pajiba)

Mischa Barton is dressy assily, as usual. (usemycomputer)

Madonna and Guy reached a settlement already? (Yeeeah!)

Madonna also claims Guy Ritchie was abusive. A claim I do not believe on grounds that Guy Ritchie would have gotten the shit beat out of him. (Celebslam)

Tara Reid has the hottest ass in the whole entire nursing home. (The Blemish)

Awww. Russell Crowe is donating his hair to Locks of Love. I don't even have anything snarky to say here. (Seriously? OMG!)

Lindsay and Sam got into an old-fashioned lesbos quarrel. (Celebitchy)

Tom Cruise doesn't understand computers, so there's totally almost no chance that he's reading all the shit that we write about him. (Agent Bedhead)

Sarah Palin tries to laugh with us on "Saturday Night Live." FAIL! (CelebSmack)

Watership Down, or, "Good Bunny, Bad Bunny" as my little sister used to call it, just celebrated it's 30th anniversary. (popbytes)

Ashlee Simpson looks bloated and miserable. (Lainey Goss)