Jacko's backo! Just in time for Halloween, too! (popbytes)

Mandy Moore is still hella gorgeous. (usemycomputer)

This was pretty much the best thing that happened on "Supernatural," or television in general, or ever, really. (Seriously? OMG!)

MK and Ashley Olsen tell Oprah what they eat for breakfast. Oprah, on the other hand, eats skinny little white bitches for breakfast. (Lainey Goss)

Double, double, toil and trouble. Nicolette Sheridan goes on the hunt for some plump and tasty children. (Yeeeah!)

Ali Lohan is the last hope. Like a sluttier version of The Neverending Story. (The Blemish)

Responsible parenting 101: it's totally OK to let your underage daughter's adult underwear model boyfriend move in, as long as they keep the doors open! Yeah... (Celebitchy)

Nicole Richie is still a terrible driver. (Celebslam)

Paris Hilton moves into a whorehouse. To the surprise of absofuckinglutely no one. (Agent Bedhead)

Britney Spears took her kids and some photographers to a pumpkin patch. Heidi and Spencer are all "Done that!" (CelebSmack)

I'm totally late for Harriet Carter Wednesday, but it's a slow fucking news day and this is probably the most interesting thing out there today. (IBBB)

Do you see this shit I put up with? Much like Rodney Dangerfield, I get no respect. (Pajiba)