Normal: (Adjective) Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Remember back when Paris Hilton made that first "Paris for President" video that was actually funny and well done and made me so confused and scared that I wanted to throw myself off a building like in the commercials for that shitty Marky Mark movie? And sure, I've made fun of her since -- many, many times -- but part of me still wondered if she was maybe actually a cool person deep down?

Well. It seems all is right in the universe, because only someone like Paris Hilton could be so completely oblivious to the line between clever social satire and blithering narcissism; the latter being what the above "music" video, the latest in her fake campaign for the presidency, consists of. I don't think I've ever heard a song so horrible that Heidi Montag wasn't directly responsible for. I made it about halfway through before I was forced to turn it off or else I might lose control of myself and start punching the computer screen. But really, this should serve as a lesson, as well as a grim reminder to us all: because a tiger can't change its stripes and a whore can't change her herpes. All she can do is stock up to Valtrex and whatever prescription medicine reduces eye wonkage.