Surprise: (Noun) Denoting something happening unexpectedly.

Well, well, well! Look who's not ashamed of being gay anymore! It's about damn time, by now I was waiting to hear news about him getting kicked out of a petting zoo or something. Good for him and his little Monchichi baby. No secrets!

But you know, this is the biggest blow to middle-aged housewives since Snackwell's discontinued their Cherry Streusel Swirls. And -- I'm not making this up -- my own mother will be among the legions of crushed fans. Seriously, she's seen him in concert several times and would probably even be one of those retarded Claymates if she was smart enough to know how to use the internet and find others out there like her. My sister was the first person I told when I heard last night, and she gloated that our mom was on her way over to her house as she spoke so she would get to break the news to her personally. I told her to make sure to explain in detail that it means he does it in the butthole. Yeah, yeah... I know that Lee Pace is probably going to come out next as karmic retribution for me being such a shitty daughter... But whatever, it's totally worth the risk. Suck it, Mom!

Johnny Curveball performing his Broadway show "Spamalot:"