Douchebag: (Noun) See above photo.

John Mayer was approached by reporters this weekend near his home in SoHo about his breakup with Jennifer Aniston, and since Mayer is a guy who values his privacy, he simply said "No comment" and went along his way. Just kidding! He spoke at great length:

"If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody," the singer challenged. "Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I've ever met.

"I'm sorry that the story's not interesting," the 30-year-old added. "But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great."

Mayer snapped at a reporter who asked if he's dating anyone else. "Why are you asking me that question? I'm being as honest as I can possibly can be," he responded. "I ended a relationship because there is no lying. I ended a relationship to be alone because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right. I don't waste people's time.

"I don't do 'the taper,'" he continued. "I guarantee you [that] 20 percent of the people on this street right now who are in a relationship wish they could get out but they don't know how. And I'm going to be honest on the way in to my relationships and I'm going to be honest on the way out of my relationships." (Source)

I heard he actually went on like that for awhile, and finally the reporters began to put away their equipment and disperse, and John started saying, "Where are you going? I'm not done yet!" And there was one lone reporter who was kind of hesitantly holding back, and John said to him, "Why don't you come up for coffee and I can tell you lots more about how I don't like to talk about my relationships?" And the reporter kind of shuffled his feet and was like, "Uhhh, that's OK... I have, uh, a doctor's appointment. Yeah..." And then John touched his arm and started to say something else and the guy was all "BACK OFF I SAID NO YOU FREAK!" and maced him and ran away, while John Mayer rolled around on the sidewalk by himself crying. True story.