Spiked Mace (Noun) A heavy spiked metal club used for breaking heads, a suitable substitute for the pepper spray.

Michael Ian Black, known to the cool as one of the original members of "The State," the less cool as a cast member of "Ed," and the hopelessly out of touch only as that commentator on the VH1 flashback shows, has officially challenged Tucker Max -- drunken mysogynist and a man certified by the Vaginal Cleansing Society (VCS) as the Douchiest of all Douchebags -- to a brawl.

So Tucker Max, you drunk, misogynistic motherfucker -- I am officially calling you OUT! I am going to fist fuck every hole in your boozy little body until you crawl away like the sniveling little bitch that you are. YOU'RE DEAD!

Tucker Max, in turn, has not only accepted that challenge, but is putting up his next royalty check (around $150,000, he says) as a guarantee that he wins the fight.

I'll even promise to show up drunk as shit. I'll drink an unreasonable amount of alcohol before we fight--20 beers, 30 beers, whatever it takes to me plastered. And if you don't think I'm drunk enough, I'll keep drinking. As long as I am conscious and able to stand on my feet, I'll fight you.

Michael Ian Black, meanwhile, has agreed to put up his New Kids on the Block doll collection (worth about $1.50, he says), if he loses. Black is currently mulling the time and place:

He asks me to pick the time and place. I will have to work on that, but rest assured it will be soon and it will be well-publicized and it will be sponsored and there will be some hot ring girls and probably a motorcycle jump before the fight. Also, I am hoping to enter the ring via helicopter. And I’m going to get a special robe with my name bedazzled on it. And you know how UFC has the Octagon? Well our ring is going to be shaped like the Star of Fucking David. Because that’s how we Jews roll.

Personally, I'm taking the underdog in this one, mostly just because I can't stand Tucker Max -- if he were to catch fire while I was walking by, I wouldn't wipe my ass with his shirt. That said, I'd kind of like to see the furor of Michael Ian Black fans unleashed on Tucker Max should he actually put off the victory -- he might finally get his due: Being anally raped with a spiked mace.