Bitch Tits

By Dustin on July 7, 2008 Posted in: John Travolta
bitchtits.jpgBitch Tits (Noun) Male breasts, i.e. man boobs.

Because it's July, and because they had nothing better to do, In Touch Weekly decided in their infinite glory to rank the best breasts in Hollywood. The results, particularly for a gossip mag, weren't especially surprising:

  1. Jessica Simpson
  2. Tyra Banks
  3. Scarlett Johansson
  4. Carmen Electra
  5. Lindsay Lohan
  6. Katherine Heigl
  7. Audrina Patridge
  8. Jennifer Aniston
  9. Megan Fox
  10. Beyonce Knowles
What's disappointing, however, is what I found to be an incredible oversight. Clearly, the best breasts in Hollywood belong to John Travolta, whose bitch tits simply scream: Suckle Me!

Get some.
| Comments (8)


8 Comments


Ben said:

Give me a fucking break.

For a 55 year old, Travolta is in pretty good shape. I know without having to see that he's in better shape then you are.

But then, we all are.

July 7, 2008 3:58 PM

Stacey said:

Ahhh, well if it isn't Troll Ben, rearing his trollish head. Funny, I didn't figure you for a guy in the "Under 400lbs" club.

July 7, 2008 4:15 PM

d said:

Any best-breasts list that excludes Halle Berry is seriously flawed and needn't be bothered discussing.

July 7, 2008 4:57 PM

dan said:

list is useless with no pictures...

July 7, 2008 5:59 PM

Cibbuano said:

All these gossip-mag lists are so infernally identical. Did the writer actually think about it? Or did they just slightly rearrange the same 20 women from 'Hottest Actresses in Hollywood' or '20 Most Beautiful Women'.

Shocking!

July 7, 2008 6:24 PM

socalledonlycousins said:

I know without having to see that he's in better shape then you are.

"Cuz that's just how fucking whip-smart I am. Which is why I spend my time trolling around web sites bitching at the writers."

July 7, 2008 8:52 PM

v. said:

Hello, Salma Hayek? Danny Zuko's man-mammaries have nothing on that deliciousness, seriously.

July 8, 2008 2:32 AM

Ben said:

socalledonlycousins,

You got the first part right. I am whip-smart. As for my trolling and bitching at the writers, if they wouldn't pew out lies and utter bullshit I wouldn't complain.

I know it's really, REALLY tough, but be honest, is Travolta REALLY in that hideous shape for a 55 year old?

No.

Stacey,

Aww, is a widdle spoiled bwat fwowing a tantum because fings aren't going her way and someone has the guts to call her out on a lie. Does a widdle cwying bwat want a wollipop to suck on to make it aw better?

You were obviously looking in the mirror when you made the 400 lb remark, yes?

Thought so.

July 8, 2008 2:03 PM