Foolproof: (Adjective) Incapable of going wrong or being misused.

The numbers are in, and Ashlee Simpson's new album is officially her worst debut ever. Besides being her first album not to debut at No. 1, "Bittersweet World" sold only 47,000 copies its first week, coming in even behind Flight of the Conchords comedy album.

Jeez. If publicly getting engaged, planting pregnancy rumors and talking about a new reality show aren't enough to clinch cherry album sales, than I don't know what is. Oh yeah, maybe promoting your album in a mature and professional way? Nice try, but this is Ashlee Simpson we're talking about -- not somebody whose music doesn't totally blow. So I'm thinking ... Sex tape? Ding ding ding! I think we have a winner!