Biblical: (Adjective) Slang term for knowing someone sexually.

Since "The Hills" have been off the air for like, three whole weeks now and the suffocating irrelevancy is starting to set in, Heidi Montag tells Us Magazine that Spencer Pratt wants to make an honest woman, er something, out of her.

"I'm ready to marry Spencer," the 21-year-old Hills star tells Us. "He's my soulmate." What changed? On-and-off beau Spencer Pratt convinced her to plan their wedding again during a secret make-or-break getaway to Mexico.

"Heidi read me biblical passages like 'Honor thy wife,'" says Pratt.

Since Heidi is such an expert on the teachings of our Lord and Savior, I wonder what the bible has to say about breast implants and being a useless twat? Clearly I'm not the scholar Heidi is, but my uneducated guess is that those would fall under the "lust" and "pride" categories. Then again, since plastic surgery and reality TV weren't around when Jesus wrote the bible, how are we to know he wouldn't have written a clause in or something? Jesus was just a regular man after all, so I'm sure even he could appreciate big titties.

More of Heidi, Spencer, and Spencer's retarded Gorton's Fisherman beard being annoying at a baseball game: