Awww. Poor Jon Goodman and his enormous, voluptuous breasts. (Celebslam)

Katie Holmes plots her escape; gets tattoo of Cruise compound on stomach. (Yeeeah!)

Zac Efron adds HSM4 to "master use of spelling and punctuation" on the list of things he's not doing. (Seriously? OMG!)

David Hasselhoff is still smooth as broken fucking glass. (The Blemish)

More of Nicole Kidman looking not pregnant but not corpse-like either (for once) at the CMT awards. (usemycomputer)

What the fuck is Kimberly Stewart wearing on her legs and feet? (Rad Report)

It's about time people started noticing Zooey Dechanel's awesome new album. (Celebitchy)

Who's in the mood for some smoking hot Elisha Cuthbert? (Popoholic)