King Solomon: (Biblical Figure) Ancient king of Israel; noted for his great wisdom in the story where he offered to chop a baby in half with a sword to see who the mother was.

Here we fucking go again. Michael Lohan is reopening his divorce case against White Oprah, bitching that she's made it "hard as hell" for him to see his kids, and that the mini-Lohans haven't been to see their ill/injured grandparents. Oh, and also? There this:

Michael says he's also suing his ex over her upcoming reality show, "Living Lohan," slotted to air this summer on the E! channel. "It's the exact same show I pitched. She even used my title." (Source)

Good lord, have these people heard of King Solomon? On second thought, scratch that -- I don't want to give anyone any ideas that might lead to the goriest, most blood-soaked family style massacre since Helter Skelter.

The family Lohan at Lindsay's 21st birthday last summer: