GIVE ME BACK MY MARRIAGE
Through the simple force of his Oscar winning powers of VOLUME, Sean Penn has successfully WILLED his marriage with Robin Wright Penn back together. Robin Wright was heard to say, "Fine, fine. I'll get back with you. Just stop screaming at me, for fuck's sake. I'm bathing in spittle."
Hmmm...maybe I just don't remember "Mystic River" that well because it has been a long time since I saw it, but the heading of this entry reminds me more of Mel Gibson circa "Ransom."