Madonna's new track hits the internet. Yeah, no thanks! (DListed)

Okay, seriously though. Why would anyone in their right mind want Screech to endorse anything? For shame, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter -- for shame. (Seriously? OMG!)

Oh. Fuck. NO. Hugh Hefner has definitely gone senile. (Ayyyy!)

J. Lo names mommy's little jackpots after cartoon characters, apparently because Frick and Frack were already taken. (Yeeeah!)

Somebody is about to flush a whole lotta money down the toilet on Scarlett Johansson. (The Blemish)

Sophie Monk really wants you to know she didn't get dumped for Paris. Um, we believe you? (CelebWarship)

No, you're not the only one who didn't find Ellen Page's lesbo skit funny. (Popoholic)

Marion Cotillard is French; says things "out of context." (IDLYITW)

Heidi Montag resorts to Britney's scraps. No, not Adnan. (PopOnThePop)