Punching Bag: (Noun) A stuffed or inflated bag, typically cylindrical or pear-shaped, suspended so it can be punched for exercise or training, esp. by boxers.

John Mayer still can't figure out why people make fun of him. And, as Mr. Douchebag would like to have us believe, this troubles him. In a recent interview, Mayer states:

"But when I think about my [future] wife, I worry," he says. "I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in Us Weekly. It's all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks."

I've got news for old Johnny boy. Us Weekly aren't the ones determining who the next celebrity punching bag is going to be, so much as the douchetastic celebrities who go around wearing "Borat swimsuits" and writing fake breakup letters to girls on their blog; smugly congratulating themselves for being so hilarious. But regardless. If Mrs. Right can get past your shitty music and the fact that you used to bang Jessica Simpson, I'm sure nothing she sees in Us Weekly is going to be particularly devastating. And who knows! Maybe she'll get stuck on the "celebrity word scramble," anyway.