Can you name all the Presidents in eight minutes? Don't fucking lie to me; of course you can't. You're just lying to yourself, brother. (Mental Floss)

Ever wondered what Kate Beckinsale's shoulder looked like? It's rounded and fleshy, you dumb shit. Here's the photographic evidence. (The Blemish)

Jake dumped Kirsten because she's a fucking drunk. And because he finally realized that he's Jake Gylenhaal and she's Kirsten Dunst. (Yeeeah!)

The last goddamn thing I want to see on President's Day is Paris Hilton's seductress eyes -- I think my loins just threw up in their mouth. (Usemycomputer)

Speaking of Napalm Vagina, now you can send the one you love a very special STD e-Card. (PoponthePop)

Some dude that's married to Amy Winehouse but doesn't otherwise matter in the least overdosed in prison. Good for him. (Celebitchy)

You know how to make Ugly Betty even uglier? Turn her into an ugly-ass doll. (popbytes)

Alyssa Milano can jump up my ass. (Popoholic)

The stars of "Dancing with the Stars" will be announced tonight. Spoiler alert: They're not actually stars. (Seriously OMG)