Sagittarius. Astrological Sign. An astrological sign, which originated from the constellation Sagittarius, and is the ninth sign of the Zodiac. Sagittarius is classed as a Positve or masculine, extrovert sign; its element is Fire and its Quality is Mutable. Traditionally in astrology Sagittarius is ruled by the planet Jupiter. Qualities include: Aggressiveness; short-tempered; drama queen; hypersensitive; loud; and annoying.

I can't be bothered to check on the daily status of Britney Spears, and since I'm pre-writing today's Britney entry the night before (if she dies tragically today, please don't hold my flippancy against me), I'm just going to check her horoscope and take a wild stab. According to Astronomy.com, Britney (a Sagittarius), can:

Expect a slow start today, no matter how many shots of espresso you go over your usual limit!

Well, you heard it here first: Britney Spears, after sleeping in, will die of an caffeine overdose. Take that, National Enquirer.