Rainbow Killer. Noun. Killer of Rainbows, murderer of joy, assassin of happiness, butcher of bliss, slayer of jubilance.

What the fuck is going on? Katherine Heigl, who has the charisma of a hairbrush and the beauty a chain-smoking Barbie doll, has 1) been named Ask Men's Top Woman of the Year and, 2) along with her husband, Josh Kelley, they've been named sexiest couple of the year by Victoria's Secret.

Really?

Sexy?

That huge, shit-eating smile radiates like nuclear fallout, killing everything in its wake. It is unfathomable to me that anyone could find the butcher of bliss anything approximating sexy. She's about as sexy as a lump hammer -- she's a Rainbow Killer!