Old Man Saggy Ass
Old Man Saggy Ass. Noun. Refers to a woman who likes to engage in sexual intercourse with old, saggy-ass men.You know that belly-flop feeling you get in the pit of your stomach right before you unleash your morning Odwalla bar all over your keyboard? Yeah: That's what I'm feeling right now: Upchuck City.
Gene Simmons has a sex tape. And I'm going to spew.
You can actually watch the entire sex tape for a fee, but I'm not going to provide the link because I fear it may be a violation of the Geneva conventions. Suffice to say, the lady he's wallowing around in bed with is not his wife and mother of his children, Shannon Tweed. It's a much younger girl -- an old man saggy ass of some sort. But worry not -- word is, the sex tape is actually a really spewtastic way of advertising a new energy drink, Franks. Apparently, it's great for stamina; unfortunately, it's not so great for your ass.
This just in: I will never drink Frank's energy drink.
Just for the record--when I fuck old men with saggy asses, I require them to take off their pants and their shirt.
Wow, sudden mind-blow. I thought that said "RICHARD Simmons".
She's thinking, 'If I hold my breath long enough, I won't have to smell Gene's horrible, thick Matzo ball breath; or die. I hope I die.
Don't make eye contact -- don't make eye contact -- don't... When will this be over? Why did he have to take so many Cialises. Why?! What am I doing here? Who am I?'
She's pulling a Jenna Janeson and imagining a big fat check dangling from the ceiling.