I know that sometimes I'm hard on Britney Spears. But when it comes down to it, she's kind of my hero -- because she inspires me to be the best I can be at whatever it is that I do. When Britney came on the scene, she wasn't content just being just your average pop star. No, Britney was going to be one of the best selling female recording artists of all time, dammit. Likewise, when Britney decided to go crazy, she's going to be the craziest motherfucker the world has ever seen!

Case in point -- just a week after getting released from involuntary commitment for holding her own child hostage, Britney stepped out on the town with her skankarazzi boyfriend wearing her old wedding dress. As in, the one she married K-Fed in. Britney Spears literally found a way to top being forcibly committed. So you see what I mean? She just makes me want to reach for the stars! Sure, today I may just be a lowly gossip blogger, but tomorrow? Maybe President!

Editor's note: Nice pit stains, Adnam. Classy.