Disengagement
Despite very conspicuously being seen wearing a sparky rock on her marryin' finger -- sending the gossip universe into a tizzy that the Simpson-Wentz union was an imminent threat -- Ashlee Simpson's reps are denying that she and Wussy McMascaraface are engaged after all.All I can say is thank fucking God for small miracles, because after these photos from New Years Eve, my gag reflex can only take so much. In fact, I can honestly say that Ashlee's disengagement is the best news of the entire year. The second best news of the year? That Gatorade comes in "mango flavored" now.
Disengagement: The breaking off of an engagement to be married. Or, as it is in this case -- one that (thankfully) never quite materialized to begin with.
I can only hope Ashlee gets knocked up soon, married or not, so she can finally become number one in Daddy's eyes. Not cause I like her, but because it would cause massive confusion and hopefully a breakdown from Jessica. Someday the two of them will be living out "Whatever happened to Baby Jane" together. Not sure who will be Joan Crawford and who will be Bette Davis, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless.
And forget about Mango gatordae. I am still mad at them for removing Lemon Ice from ther products. Yeah it happened almost 10 years ago, but I hold grudges quite well.