Hey, guess what everybody? Amy Winehouse totally isn't addicted to heroin and has her drinking under control! No really, she said so. Here are some snippets of some actual things she said in a recent interview:

"Drinking long-term is a lot worse than doing heroin. Alcohol's a real poison."

"I'm of the school of thought where if you can't sort something out for yourself then no one can help you. I don't know whether that's because I'm a strong woman."

"If I go to the gym and I have a drink, I'm lovely to be around and really sweet."

"I've lost the weight because I don't smoke weed anymore. I go to the gym, I drink a lot of water and I eat right. I feel bad for Victoria Beckham because I see pictures of her and they've made her thighs look smaller. They've done that to me, and it's horrible. I've always had skinny little bird legs, but they've made them smaller.

 
So to recap -- heroin isn't that bad, Amy Winhouse is a health nut; strong woman, and the photographers are in on some grand conspiracy to make celebrities legs look skinny. Well, thank God -- because here, this whole time I thought she was a habitual drunkard and smack addict with crippling denial and codependency. Oh, the egg on my face! Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, this is what Amy's hair really looks like -- she just dyed it back to her natural color.