Katie Holmes revealed in an interview with Parade Magazine that Tom Cruise's adopted kids with Nicole Kidman, Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12, call her Mom.

These poor kids -- they've got to choose from either Ice Queen, liquid nitrogen-wearing Mommy with an unflavored Snow Cone for a heart; or Daddy's vacant-eyed, Scientology lobotomy experiment surrogate Mommy. And not that those aren't fabulous choices or anything, but these kids are probably so emotionally numb and starved for attention, they'd be just as happy to call a Mrs. Potato Head or a particularly affectionate Golden Retriever "Mom" at this point.