Word is that Nicole Kidman is suing Britain's The Daily Telegraph, after the newspaper alleged that Kidman has been using Jo Malone's White Jasmine and Mint perfume, instead of the product she endorses, Chanel No. 5. The article stated Nicole had been "dabbing it on whenever she had a moment" while in the U.K. to promote The Golden Compass. A statement from her law firm insists the allegations were "entirely untrue" and "grossly defamatory," adding "We have been instructed to obtain an immediate retraction of such allegations and are taking separate action against the Daily Telegraph."

No, the truth is, that wasn't perfume she was dabbing on -- it was liquid nitrogen. You don't think a bitch get to be that frosty on her own, do you? Being a lady that icy takes frequent applications, lest her face rise above the freezing point and wither like cracked zombie. The liquid nitrogen also helps on those occasions when she needs to cut glass with her nipples.