Webster's Weekly Highlights
- Paris Hilton fails to understand satire.
- Carl Bernstein is a killjoy.
- Owen Wilson gets dementia.
- Barry Bonds got his tits in a wringer.
- Jessica Alba is a nevernude.
- Hip-hop gets another round of Kanye-isms.
- Adrien Grenier experiences spandxcstasy.
- Jon Bon Jovi sells/is a dope.
- And Britney Spear's life is totally unfair.