Hayden Panettiere plays with toys. No. Not that kind. (IDLYITW)

Holy Shit! Sophie Anderton is a coke-snorting hooker! Wait. Who is Sophie Anderton and why does she have cartoon stars over her nipples?  (Egotastic)

I can't bring myself to make fun of Madonna's daughter. But that doesn't mean Ms. Beet can't. (Evil Beet)

Incontrovertible video evidence that Paris Hilton bathes. Seriously. (Yeeeah!)

Debra Messing procures fashion advice from Mrs. Roper. (A Socialite's Life) 

Skank Cancer can walk, smile, and smoke all at the same time -- she must have taken lessons. (Usemycomputer)

Joaquin Phoenix wants to do porn remakes of his own films, e.g., Glad He Ate Her. (Agent Bedhead)

MK reviews last night's Kelly Clarkson concert in L.A. (popbytes)