Philanthropist Defined
A person who seeks to promote the welfare of others, esp. by the generous donation of money to good causes.

Britney Spears wears many titles -- poptardlet, bad mother, substance abuser, reckless driver, defendant... Well, it looks like now she can add "Shitty Philanthropist" to the catalog, because Britney has "teamed up" with the notorious paparazzi agency X17 to auction off an autographed copy of "Blackout" on ebay to help the children of the world. From a press release issued by X17:

"I think it's important to give back and with the release of Blackout, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to give the fans a chance to bid on something to help children everywhere," says Spears."

Despite the considerable effort I'm sure it takes to write your name on something you didn't have to pay for, have someone else list it on ebay and write a polysyllabic statement for you -- maybe if Britney really wants to help the children of the world she should open that big fat wallet of hers. Since we all know damn well how much she's raking in. But of course, that's assuming that she even met her tiny end of the bargain in to begin with. So the real question is, I wonder which lucky X17 intern got stuck with the thankless job of forging Britney Spears' signature?