Peeps Defined
Marshmallow candies in the shape of rabbits and baby chickens. Usually served around Easter.

Actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested Sunday morning around 2:30 a.m., after he refused to leave a Walgreens drug store. According to the police report, a security guard told LaBeouf that he needed to leave the store because he appeared to be drunk. When he LaBeouf refused to leave, the police were called and the actor -- who obtained big-screen success in recent movies Disturbia and Transformers, and who will star in the upcoming Indy IV -- was hauled away. He posted bail and was released around 7 a.m.

Outside the police station, Websters is my Bitch caught up with LaBeouf and asked him about the incident. "Duuude. I wasn't drunk -- that's what I kept trying to tell the security guard," he said. "I didn't have a thing to drink besides a couple of Mr. Pibbs and a Capri Sun. I just turned 21 a couple of months ago, and I haven't developed the taste for it yet. So, no: I wasn't drunk. Not at all."

He continued: "But, I was as high as balls. Fuuucked up! I smoked a half a bag of hydro and I was riding this killer buzz. And you know when it's 2 in the morning and you're in the Afrozone and all you want is a handful of Peeps? It's all I could think about. Peeps. Motherfucking peeps! Peeps! Peeps! Peeps! I was mad craving pink marshmallow chicks.The soft smushy sensation of sugar, wax, and gelatin. I had a peep boner. Peep! Peep! And I asked the cashier at Walgreens where they were, and he insisted they were out of season. And I wasn't about to hear that -- I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Peeps! and Walgreens is my temple. I knew they had to have, like, half a crate back in the back, right? Those things never sell out during the holidays, and you know they have a sell-by date of  something like 2098. We'll all be dead and gone, but those delicious, marshmallowey confections will outlive us all! Peeps!

The mugshot, courtesy of The Smoking Gun, is after the jump.