Neutered Defined:
Lacking developed sexual organs, or having had them removed.

Don't you just love it when total has-beens in the music industry have a record fail, and lash out at everyone but themselves for being too creepy and/or old and/or lame? Well, this time Ozzy Osbourne is playing the blame game due to the fact that his latest album, "Black Rain" has seen abysmal sales. The culprit? Internet pirates.

He tells Australia's Herald Sun newspaper, "If they don't find something to stop (this), people won't be able to make records. There won't be any new bands. How are they going to survive?"

Osbourne admits he's struggling to complete a grueling world tour he felt committed to after his new release took a hit in the record stores. And he refuses to heed his manager/wife Sharon's advice and "just stand there" onstage. He adds, "I ain't getting any younger. Sharon says to me 'Just stand there.' I can't just f---ing stand there! I'm a moving target. People would aim their can of beer at my head!"

If Ozzy thinks that even internet pirates wants to listen to his new album, he must have his head up his ass even further than I thought. Because didn't Ozzy kind of destroy any metal cred he had when he publicly neutered himself to the world by tottering around on reality TV with his harpy, famewhore wife and fat, spoiled (and even more famewhorey) children -- appearing in Pepsi commercials and slapping his face on every conceivable product? See Ozzy, that's exactly the sort of thing that doesn't appeal to the kind of people who used to listen to Ozzy Osbourne music.

Maybe to recoup his losses he could just try putting his face on more things. I hear colognes and perfumes are very popular with the celebrities nowadays. And people are probably at least a little curious to see what "old white man shame" smells like. No? Oh well, better luck next time!